Sardarji jokes. Best collection!

[akash]

The Titanic is going to be drowned....
Everybody in the ship is shouting, crying, running or praying to God... Just then a Italian asks the nearby Sardarji in the ship.
Italian :How far is land, from here ?
Sardarji : Two miles.
Italian : Only two miles, Then why are these fools making noise. I have got the experience of swimming even more. The Italian jumps off the ship into the sea and comes up to the layer to ask something again.
Italian : Just tell me which side, is land two miles from here ?
Sardarji : Downwards......
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Amritsar station. Only one sardar left alive.
The correspondent goes to him and asks, "Sardarji how did it happen?"
Sardar: "Oh ji pucho mat. sab kuch sahi tha sab log platform par khade gaadi ki wait kar rahe they. Achanak announcement hui ki shatabdee express 2 no. platform par aa rahi hai. Jaise hi sab ne suna ki gaddi PLATFORM PAR aa rahi hai, sab log apni jaan bachane ke liye patri par kood gaye. Aur tabhi gaddi patri par aa gayi."
Aaj tak: "Thank god. Aap ne samajhdari dikhayee. Aap patri par nahin koode."
Sardar: "oe nahin ji main to suicide karne ke liye patri par hi leta tha. Jaise hi announcement hui main to platform par chad gaya."

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Sardar1:- Marte Waqt Aadmi Ko Kya Dena Chahiye?
Sardar2:- Birla cement
Sardar1:- Kyun?
Sardar2:- Kyunki Is Cement Mein Jaan Hain
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Once a sardar calls another sardar on the phone and says "Hi, Main Bol Raha Hoon". The other sardar replies "Kamaal ! Hain, Ithe Vi Main Bol Raha Hoon!"

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A Sardar had called an Englishman for lunch. There was curd on the table. The guest asked what is this?
The Sardar didn't know English, he said "Milk sleeping in night, morning becomes tight"

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Once a sardarji tries to cheat the Indian railways. He is thinking for a novel idea. He thinks a lot and finally he did one thing, he bought the ticket and didn't travel.

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A sardar was drawing money from ATM. The sardar behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks(****).
The first sardar replies, " Ha! Ha! Haaa! U r wrong. Its 1258."

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What is the height of stupidity?
2 sardarjies sitting on a motorcycle & fighting for a window seat

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Did you hear about the sardarji who is so rich he has two swimming pools, one of which is always empty? It's for people who can't swim!

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Santa Singh: ! Will this bus take me to Jalandhar?
Driver: Which part?
Santa Singh: All of me, of course!

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What do you call a Sardarji in a deep well?
A deep thinker..

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Sardarji calls Air India. 'How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?'
'Just a sec,' says the customer service assistant.
'Thank you.' says the Sardarji and hangs up.

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Santa Singh goes to a TV shop and asks, 'Aap ke paas color TV hai kya?'
'Haan' replies shopowner.
Santa Singh says, 'Ek hara vala dena!'

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Once Santa Singh was riding a cycle and he suddenly hit a girl! So girl shouted, 'Sala ghanti nahi maar sakta tha!!!'
And sardarji replied, 'Poori cycle to maar di ab ghanti alag se maroon??!!!'

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Banta Singh happened to be in a queue at a railway station ticket counter with two men ahead of him. 'Ek Punjab Mail dena.' demanded the man in front. He was given a ticket. 'Ek Punjab Mail dena.' the second man asked and was handed a ticket. Then came the turn of Banta Singh,
'Ek Punjab female dena!' 'What do u mean by Punjab female?' asked the clerk. 'It is for my wife' replied Banta Singh.
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Sardar: I have'nt slept all nite in the train.
Frnd: Y?
Sardar: Got upper berth.
Frnd: Y did'nt u xchng?
Sardar: Oye, there was nobody 2 xchng in the lower berth.
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Sardar tells a girl "Come 2 my house at nite, nobody will b there.............
Girl goes at night & really nobody was there!
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Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever - What will come first, chicken or egg?

Oye Yaar, whatever u order first will come first.

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Sardar proposed 2 a Girl......
Girl said, 'I'm 1 yr elder to you.'
Sardar said, 'Oye, no problem Soniye; I'll marry you NEXT YEAR.
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A Sardar & his wife filed an application 4 divorce.
Judge asked: How'll u divide - u've 3 children?
Sardar replied: OK! We'll apply NEXT YEAR!
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Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon Sir, that's a mirror!
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A man asked sardarji, "Why does Manmohan Singh go walking in the evening and not in the morning?"
Sardarji replied, "Arey bhai, Manmohan is PM not AM".